Jen’s RIP Beauty Report

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Flipping through some old photographs I stumbled upon beauty trends that I fully embraced at various stages in my life. At the time, these looks seemed essential to my beauty. Looking back now, I can’t stop laughing.The Crimper: Whoa! This device seemed like the best invention ever (maybe a tie with Epilady?). What a genius way to transform my boring self into a punk rock teen! I spent hours finding the perfect way to crimp my thick black mane. I fussed with mousse, hairspray, a blow dryer and detangler to achieve the, “yes, I’ve just been hit by lightening,” look.

Teased and Feather Bangs: Besides my frosty pink Formula 44 lip gloss, Stiff Stuff hairspray was one of those essentials that I had to have in my beauty cabinet.  I was not fit to leave the house without taking my bangs, teasing them up and to the side with a fine tooth comb, and spraying them so they could no longer move. I even carried a small travel size bottle filled with the liquid glue with me to school in case my high tresses began to fall flat. I recall trying to get my mother to sport the look as well, I wanted her to look cool!  I’m glad she didn’t let me experiment on her with the rooster ‘There’s Something About Mary’ look.

Dark Lip Liner: This is one of those trends that unfortunately has managed to stick around for some people. Liner should not be darker than your lipstick! I sometimes hold myself back from going up to someone and just saying STOP THAT! IT’S SCARY.The Rachel: I too fell victim to this wildly popular haircut made famous by the stunning Jennifer Aniston. I trusted my locks to a hairdresser on Rodeo Drive and I was expecting magic! Poof! That was one wildly unflattering cut, and I looked nothing like my favorite sitcom character. Luckily I learned my lesson and did not embrace the Victoria Beckham asymmetrical bob of 2008.

The Bridal Crown: Now this may be the worst offense of all. Yes, I wore a full blown crown on my wedding day. It was all the rage at the time (ask any 1995 Bride), and I spent a mini fortune on my crystal masterpiece of humiliation. The pictures are everywhere. I will never live this one down. Note to all brides to be: do not wear a crown unless a real Queen has given you hers.

I hope these trends are gone for good. Yet, I’m sure in a few years I will have some more to add to the list.  What are some beauty trends you’d like to put to rest?