by Jennifer Hakimian

When it comes to beauty secrets I’m always one to share. If I’ve discovered a new product I will tell everyone who I think would benefit from it…I’m not one to keep the miracle to myself! That’s one of the reasons Pampadour came about. I wanted to create a special place to share beauty. 

Certain tricks however, are not fit to share with certain people. For instance, my four boys, one of them being my husband. We have been married for over 17 years. The days where I hide my beauty paraphernalia from him are long gone, but when we first got together I never wanted to disclose the things I needed to do to look half-normal enough to walk out the door. If he knew at the time, he may have run for the hills.

Just as I was getting comfortable with telling him that I was headed for electrolysis and laser treatments, my little babies were growing up and becoming increasingly curious. They rummaged through my drawers picking up tweezers, silicon bra inserts, and anything that didn’t look normal to them. Sometimes I had an answer to their curious questions, and other times I just ripped the embarrassing items out of their hands. Who wants to tell their son, “yes, that’s to make mommy’s breasts look perkier…”?!?!

I will never forget that day that I found my four year old son screaming, “Mommy, come here!!!” He was crying, pointing to my bundle of hair extensions in my closet drawer. He had a look of horror on his face. “What is that? It’s so scary!” I tried explaining my reasons for having them. He asked, “whose head do they come from? Is the person dead? Is it clean?” The conversation was never-ending. This is the same child who caught me gluing false Ardell eyelashes onto my lids. “Does everyone do that, Mom? Does Dad?” To avoid a disaster, I quickly explained to my puzzled son that this is very special glue. He should not try to glue anything to his face. He stood there watching me in amazement as I placed each lash in its proper place. Nevertheless, I hid all the Elmer’s Glue bottles.

Ever been caught with Jolen bleach on your face? Well, I have…countless times. Yes, the face masks, giant rollers and wax strips have all been discovered in use. My boys have certainly had an education in the beauty ritual department. Glad I could help out their future girlfriends. I don’t think anything would shock them at this point. Damn that door lock! Don’t the manufacturers know that a plastic butter knife can open the lock in two seconds flat?

Illustration by Elisa Stangalini